Some days (like today) when my husband asks me how my day was, I can only think of one response: "I ran around in the hamster ball again today." You know what a hamster ball is, right (don't be cheeky)? One of those clear plastic balls that people drop their hamster in so that he/she can run through the house only to be caught in the same frantic repetitive motion again and again…and sadly, not really accomplish all that much. Sometimes, I, too feel akin to one of those furry little creatures. I know what it is like to run around, completing the same task over and over and not feel too successful once done. Exhausted is more like it. I don't mean to sound like: "Woe is me. I am a poor stay at home mom. Feel sorry for me. I am so unappreciated and bored." I guess I just want others who are in their own hamster balls (OK…now the whole "ball" thing is sounding weird) to know they are not alone in feeling, well…alone.
Staying at home and caring for a family is monotonous and often crazy. I cannot tell you how many times a week I answer the same questions, complete the same tasks, clean the same house, wash the same clothes, buy the same groceries, drive the same routes, referee the same fights, make the same meals, and wipe the same butts. You get my drift. The repetition takes its toll. The hardest part is the invisibility of it all. Does anyone even notice me? Or, am I just scurrying by in a flash? Sometimes, I miss working outside of the home for that very reason. I miss having someone tell me they see my effort. They notice how hard I work…and hey, here's a raise on top of it. I miss being seen. Maybe that is why so many stay at home moms Instagram, Facebook and blog. It's like we are all raising our hands and jumping around silently shouting "Look at me! I am still here! What I do is of value!" Right? Right. Today I feel hamster ballish :) But, most days, at some point I regroup and really start to think about my role. The role I am so fortunate to have.
I know when I go to bed tonight, tomorrow will be a new day. However, I am also aware of the fact that it will be very much the same as today. As boring as that seems at times, when I sit back and look at it from the perspective of the day being a gift. I see how wonderful that consistency can be. I am thankful for the family that I give my all for each day. I am blessed by the husband who entrusts me to do the bulk of the child rearing and the education of our kids. I am grateful for the home, clothing, and even for chores. I am tired, but, it's good.
Tomorrow I will get up and lace up my shoes. I know I will be "on the run" again. I am making a deal with myself to choose to view it with peace in my heart. I know that I will get bored; I will get frustrated; and I will bump into walls again and again. I will do these things for the family that I love so dearly, who rely on the consistency and who fill my life with purpose. Perspective is everything. As my friend Jen once told me," S**t could be worse." She's right. Hamster balls aren't that bad. ;)
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